Why I Don't Twitter

Since I deal with a lot of students and faculty, I try and keep up with the latest crazes but I definitely don’t have time to add another life-sucking activity like Twitter to my life.

I like what Brian Williams said on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, that he will not use Twitter until he has something “interesting enough” to say in 140 characters or less. Even Beyonce admits that when it comes to Twittering, she just “doesn’t get it” and she’s not on Facebook either. That makes two of us.

I love technology, but I have to draw the line at Twitter.

The official Twitter website says: “Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?” Sounds more like a cross between blogging and instant messaging and enabling today’s attention-deficit disorder sufferers doesn't seem a like a particularly good idea to me. What am I doing? It’s 1:30pm on Wednesday, what do you think I’m doing? Does anyone care that I’m sitting at my desk flossing the chicken salad out from between my teeth? Or that I’m on my way to the bathroom for my second bowel movement of the day? (Shall I take a picture as well?)

We are losing the art of conversation by reducing it to abbreviations and emoticons for anyone to read. What about crafting a thank you note or the impact of a well-written sympathy card after a loved one dies. Remember letters? When was the last time you sent one? And I don’t mean a Hallmark card.

Twitter devotees claim that the value of Twitter is in the quality of those you follow. To make it interesting you need to have interesting people to follow. If you don't follow interesting people, it’s just a big pointless waste of time. But do we all really want to be connected to each other in this kind of giant kumbaya?

I guess what I really want to know is: Who in the hell has time for this stuff???

I’ve come to the conclusion that Twitter, or micro-blogging, is for people who want a blog but don't want to blog. Maybe Twitter is the latest manifestation of an undesirable trend. Remember when it was people checking their e-mail 50 times an hour, and phoning you to say, "Did you not get my e-mail? I sent it almost an hour ago." Then it was instant messaging, cell phones, and text messaging, all offering improved opportunities to "be in touch all the time," a fate I'd do almost anything to avoid.

Now it’s "social networks," like Facebook, My Space and Twitter. I suppose there’s value to each of these -although I suspect that the value drops over time- but it seems to me that each “new tool” seems to be taken to sillier (or stupider) extremes than the last one.

I also recognize that it isn’t going away anytime soon. Tell you what, why don’t we all just meet at the Pub and raise a pint or two?