Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween (from last year)

1) Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
2) Do not search the basement or attic when the power is out.
3) As a general rule, do not solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
4) When it appears you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. It isn't.
5) Do not take anything from the dead. No matter how much you like it, it's bound to disagree with you sooner or later.
6) If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop to look around.
7) Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you know exactly what you're doing.
8) Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This rule also applies to any other house of the dead.
9) If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice--more if you're female.
10) Beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers, butane torches, soldering irons, and ice picks.


Monday, October 27, 2008

Halloween Candies - Top 10 Worst

According to "Serious," the little beggars who come calling every October 31st have a preferred and despised list of Halloween candy. Just in case some of you'd like to avoid the "tricks" associated with the holiday, here's the despised list (and why):

1) Toothbrushes - apparently Dentists & Orthodontists should NOT bring their work home with them on this night.

2) Raisins - the little goblins want treats that will actually rot their teeth, not "wrinkled grapes."

3) Candy Corn - now this is just unAmerican. What is Halloween without candy corn? It's the "fruitcake" of Halloween.

4) Smarties & Necco wafers - I agree, who wants to eat chalk!

5) Dum-Dum lollipops - oh come on, who can resist a 3,000 count package of suckers for $1.99?

6) Apples - remember when bad peeps would hide razor blades in these . . . makes me shudder just remembering the days of ex-raying all candy at the local ER.

7) Tootsie Rolls - yeah, no chocolate in them at all anymore and a destroyer of dental work.

8) Miscellaneous, Hard wrapped candy - reserved for Senior Citizens? What about the bagged stuff they put in Pinatas?

9) Laffy Taffy - hey, it's their dental work NOT MINE!

10) Anything "Fun-Sized- " apparently anything "portion controlled" shouldn't apply to Halloween.

OK, so, that means the 3 Costco bags of 250 count tootsie rolls, tootsie pops, sweet tarts, and miscellaneous hard-wrapped candy I just bought have to be returned? Phhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttt, beggars can't be choosers!!!!!!

“Donde esta la Cerveza?”

From drunken college frat boy to when he finally admitted there were no WMDs in Iraq, Oliver Stone’s “W” tries really hard to make us believe that all poor George W. Bush ever wanted to do was watch baseball and drink beer all day. Sounds like a reasonable request to me. Then again, this was the starting point to understanding how Bush got into office, why he got into office, and why he never should have gotten into office.

If you are a fan of George W. Bush, you're going to be more fond of him than ever. If you are not a fan of George W. Bush, you're going to be surprised at how sympathetic his character appears. Whatever your political beliefs, you won't find anything unexpected in "W."

I do wish the film would have explored the connection between Bush's alcoholism and his born-again Christianity with some depth or curiosity - what addicts and born-agains share is a terror of ambiguity, an absolute need for a belief system that removes all doubt- but at least the film lets us know the American people made a HUGE mistake.

It’s worth the price of admission just to see Richard Dreyfuss play Dick Cheney. One of the most chilling movie scenes ever is when Cheney is asked about his exit strategy from Iraq - “There is no exit. We stay.” I swear to god, it gave me goose bumps!

Josh Brolin's performance as “W” is really amazing; in fact, Brolin's so good, he almost makes you feel sorry for Bush. Almost. An equally stellar performance by James Cromwell as “Poppy,” George H.W. Bush, Sr., makes me understand why Daddy Bush would rather hang with Bill Clinton these days.

Still, leaving the theater, I had the sense that, really, it is too early for this movie to have been made.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Sarah Palin Explains It All

"We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C.
We believe" -- here the audience interrupted Palin with applause and cheers --
"We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit,
and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America,
being here with all of you hard working very patriotic,
um, very, um, pro-America
areas of this great nation.
This is where we find the kindness
and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans.
Those who are running our factories and teaching our kids
and growing our food and are fighting our wars for us.
Those who are protecting us in uniform.
Those who are protecting the virtues of freedom."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

yeah....she loves those small pockets of "pro-americans" a.k.a. small pockets of uneducated white republicans who actually like her. Or is that pro-America like Todd Palin is pro-America?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Final Debate

They say a picture is worth a thousand words . . .

Monday, October 06, 2008

New Candidate Alert!!!

OMG, I've never been so excited about a potential Presidential candidate in my life . . . view here: