Impending death is not an easy event to deal with.
Mr. itsme’s Uncle Gilbert was told by his Doctors to go home, put your affairs in order and enjoy whatever time is left. He’s stopped all treatments like chemo and has stopped taking all medications (relating to cancer) too. Uncle Gilbert is very aware that his declining health is leading him towards death. He faces this fact every second of his life now starting with the moment he found out his cancer was terminal, but his positive attitude and childlike gratitude is an inspiration to me.
Because there are 7 brothers and sisters, the family decided to have a luncheon at a local restaurant. With one or two exceptions, every family member was in attendance.
When we first got the invitation I felt a little uncomfortable by the whole thing. Would it be awkward? Would it be maudlin? What do you say when you arrive “You look good for an almost dead guy." And what do you say when it’s time to leave “Take care, see you soon?” And to the other relatives “See you at the funeral.”
I was surprised that the most important thing I came away with was to make Uncle Gilbert’s passing as peaceful and happy as possible. It is up to us, the family, to be his net of support. Too many times I’ve seen family members overwhelmed with their own grief and instead of providing a joyful atmosphere, they generate an atmosphere of gloom and depression. The luncheon and gathering to talk and reminisce about all the things the family loved and would always remember about Uncle Gilbert was an excellent activity, for him and for us. Lots of pictures were taken, old stories told, and yes, a few tears were shed. A few beers were cracked also.
Life is precious and fleeting, enjoy.
4 comments:
not sure what to say itsme.
then again a moment of silent reflection isn't the worst thing in the world occasionally.
uncle gilbert has given me that occasion. thanks.
Actually bob, as I was giving him a good-bye hug I blurted out "See you soon" and immediately apologized. Uncle Gilbert laughed and replied "Hey, it could happen."
Everyone around us started laughing too. It was weird.
I’ve seen it done both ways Itsmecissy, and here’s what I believe: When a person learns that the end is near, I think denial until the final moments is the most tragic possibility. I think utilizing the time to visit and say your good byes to loved ones is the most wonderful possibility (and of course there’s a lot of gray area between the two.) I just hope that when my time comes I have the strength, composure and class to follow your Uncle Gilbert's example. Thank you for sharing his story with us.
Love...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. ~ I Corinthians 13:7-8
Thanks for sharing this story, itsme. All of our lives are made richer through these shared experiences with one another. There's a spiritual warmth and enriched understanding through our human connections.
Death is freeing to those with terminal illness. Uncle Gilbert is beginning his journey to make that final transition from this earthly life into eternal life.
How appropriate, during this time of Lent, he should gather you all together for his "last supper".
Uncle Gilbert will always be with us because love never ends.
Peace, Love and Joy to you and your husband and the rest of the family.
~Pam
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